We've updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Love Is the Means

by Fellwalker

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $7 USD  or more

     

1.
I want to be taken by surprise I’m so tired of knowing what is gonna come next… I want the horns in the square to play The crooked moon to pull me apart Just when I think I’ve got it all figured out… You find a way to play with my heart I can’t explain Not even through the keys, I want to be on my knees I want to be the breeze Blowing through the curtains In the middle of the night When you most need it I want to be the autumn In the open sky And learn to sail Without knowing why I want to find a way to say…
2.
Just when I’d given up all hope Of ever getting what I thought I was waiting for Just when I thought you’d abandoned me And left me here to curse your name And clench my tiny fists against the rain Crying I’m stranded You send me wings I’m gonna let ‘em unfurl I’m a superhero I’m rising up above it all Rescuing myself, you watch me I’m swooping in to rescue myself I am my own savior Don’t need no one else Don’t need no knight in shining armor Just when I’d given up holding on And let my body tumble through the air You send me wings I’m gonna let ‘em unfurl Cuz I’m a superhero I’m rising up above it all Rescuing myself, you watch me I’m swooping in to rescue me I am my own savior Don’t need no knight in shining armor I’m gonna use the wings you gave me I am my own savior You watch me
3.
It’s like hearing again an old song you used to know Barely remembered, a shadow from long ago Now sounding new, as if when you heard it The first time, you didn’t know how to form words Or you didn’t know chords, didn’t know what a note was Or like you were deaf, and suddenly hearing vibrations It’s like driving a car, it’s dark and it’s raining And you’ve lost your way – you’re intoxicated – You’ve run out of gas and you’re sure that you’re stranded You fall asleep, and upon awakening Looking around, you suddenly see that you’re liberated you’re liberated It’s like hearing about Yosemite Valley You’ve drawn it in crayons, you’ve seen Ansel Adams But you feel ancient, and also so very old Like what’s the use of it In your dark tunnel, but when you come through Your breath’s taken from you You can’t believe it – it’s so beautiful – Love is a miracle Lifting your burdens from you
4.
You don’t want me as I am As I could be, without any man Without anyone trying to define me Or complete me Always forever after, kind of Anyhow it’s untenable Especially at its best-est Not last-able, transitional, transactional Unsatisfiable Is that what you want? Always forever after? Who wants that kind of life, babe? I don’t wanna be your wife, babe So I guess this is a breakup I’m gonna shake my moneymaker I hope you find another taker Maybe I’ll see you later Oh honey I know there’s a finger for you to put your ring on Until the end of time But it isn’t mine Oh woe, woe Is that all there is to living? I want you here next to me I want you next to me Oh mercy me The way you touch me Oh mercy me Your breath against my body
5.
Ghost Horses 03:17
In the gloaming the wind shuddered the dust across the barren plain as if it were a living thing, so that from afar it might have been mistaken for water, for the ocean under which it had once lain after monumental icebergs had cracked and tumbled in thunderous convulsions, as though the seams between this world and the next were being wrenched asunder by the claws of an invisible leviathan before there were ears to register the tumult. You know you were moving But you don’t know what creature you were It was something wild and free And it’s in you somewhere It’s still in there It’s like a spirit But it has no form It wants to break out And without it what would living be? A thing devoid of mystery Baby I didn’t rise up from the ashes To play dead, so let it come Let it come without explanation Let it come without rhyme or reason Let it take me I surrender to it
6.
Let’s pretend it’s unexpected It shakes your bones and makes your mouth wet Unlike anything ever has been Let’s pretend it’s meant to be And it’s gonna last forever All the way until death and It’s not based on anything I’m gonna put my sneakers on and Shake my booty I’m gonna go out on my own I’m gonna go out dancing like I’m Choosing… to be… to be Let’s pretend I asked to be here Like a morning glory coiling I sprang & tangled my roots Around whatever lay in my way I’m gonna put my sneakers on and Shake my booty I’m gonna go out dancing
7.
Reckoning 03:48
Is this the day of reckoning? The day the saints come marching in Shining their spotlights on my Fantasy of what I thought I wanted You to be… (will I ever get out) Did I mistake you for someone? Have I invented a fiction? Once again unnoticed It’s all falling apart And I know I’ll never get out Could I ever get out Ever get out, ever get out of (in my mind) I think you oughta know that Is how I have made it I have become trapped in My imagination But it’s a nice place I wish you could come in Cuz it’s where I’ll be And I’ll never get out of This world Alive
8.
I’m standing at the edge of an openness I’m all alone in a crowd I’m in a crowded hall And everyone’s expecting me to say something profound But I don’t think I can do it I don’t think I can do it I don’t feel like I’m supposed to I’m not who you think I am I’m too little, I’m too young, I don’t look good wearing black But here I am Here I am It’s not like how it is in the movies I’m not crying at the right times And I can’t follow the conversation And everything’s in black and white And the soundtrack is muted And the time is out of sync with my mind And everything’s in black and white It’s not like how it is in the movies I’m not crying at the right times And I’m suffocating And I don’t think I can do it Without you here Without you here with me I don’t think I can do it Without you here
9.
The Trees 03:49
Tell me more about the light What’s happening in the movie What’s happening in the scene Are you running toward something or away from something What are you running from Is it dark or is it light Is it raining What’s the weather like Is this the part where you break down crying Is this the part where you make a decision to begin again Is this the part where you let something go Is this the part where you get a phone call telling you your apartment burned down Is this the part where you’re set free Is this the part where you jump Off the cliff and instead of falling you begin to rise up and levitate like in the dream you used to have when you were just a little girl and you would lie in bed in New Hampshire in mid-August after watching shooting stars from a reclining chair on the lawn and through the open window through the screen window you could hear the trees
10.
Liner Notes 03:16
I’m the liner notes that got crossed out I’m the part no one knows about I’m on the cutting room floor Where I was before I’m an afterthought at the end of your Day… But I wanna take up space I wanna sing in the rain I wanna tap dance on The grave of that storm rolling in Raging in your mind And then disappearing again I’m a gentle rain, a breeze drifting in And then disappearing again But I wanna take up space I wanna sing in the rain I wanna tap dance on the grave Of that sad story I’m burying today

credits

released August 20, 2021

written by Cynthia Hopkins & James Lavino

Cynthia Hopkins: vocals
James Lavino: piano etc
Charlie Hall: drums on 1,3,4,5,7,8
Dave King: drums on 2,6,9

Produced by Nick Krill and Fellwalker
Recorded by Nick Krill and Fellwalker
Mixed by Nick Krill
Mastered by Alex DeTurk

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Fellwalker Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Cynthia Hopkins & James Lavino bring you music from above the tree line.

Find us at fellwalkermusic.com

contact / help

Contact Fellwalker

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like Fellwalker, you may also like: